Are you one of those who know you aren’t getting what you deserve at work? Are you too afraid to ask what you’re due? You’re not alone because there are many who are in your shoes, who are feeling the discomfort of negotiating and are just avoiding having the conversation with their bosses or managers. Conflict and rejection are the biggest reasons why people are afraid to negotiate and as a result, they are sacrificing salary hikes, promotions, and opportunities for growth and more importantly, peace of mind, because let’s be honest, it does keep you up every night, at least a few times.
“No matter how many degrees we have or how many awards we’ve won, we still feel inadequate”
Women either tone down their requests or don’t ask at all, and this is where the problem begins and it all starts in the mind because a lack of confidence begins at childhood. As a result, women stop taking chances, they don’t try their luck and moreover, they internalize feedback more than others. “No matter how many degrees we have or how many awards we’ve won, we still feel inadequate. We cope by settling for situations that make us resentful and unhappy,” says Melody Wilding, the Workplace Success Coach for smart, sensitive high-achievers. However, asking for what you’re worth begins with one’s relationship with money. Many people can recall at least one scenario where they felt incapable or belittled during a negotiation, and another problem is when we attach meaning to these circumstances and feel inadequate because of it. Ask yourself, ‘What did your family teach you about negotiating?’, ‘Was advocating on your own behalf off-limits, welcome, repressed?’, ‘What other major experiences or factors have shaped your outlook towards valuing yourself and asking for what you’re worth?’
Celebrate your achievements, don’t play them down; list them out if it helps
In addition to this, women always feel the need to be perfect at all times and if they are not, they will beat themselves up, hence, you need to accept that you need not be perfect to think you’re worth it at work. “Everyone makes mistakes on the job. You will too, and that’s okay—you’ll learn from them, and you’ll move on. Plus, once you let go of the need to be perfect, you free yourself to take risks and take on new responsibilities.” Next, create a great support system so that there will always be someone who’ll have your back, like a mentor and positive co-workers and friends. Most of all, celebrate your achievements, don’t play them down; list them out if it helps so that you can remind yourself of how far you’ve come in your professional journey. “Acknowledging those successes and rewarding yourself will remind you how great you really are—and there’s no greater confidence boost than a job well done.”
Image credit: Indeed Blog